Poor Wufei
by Satanira
Summary: Two insanely hyper 15-year-olds are renting a house in upstate New York, and there's nothing you or their boyfriends can do about it!


Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer, drooling over doujinshi scans of Heero  
and Duo wipes chin when my sister starts screaming about her 'Wu-bebi'  
and how the only person good enough for him (other than herself, of course)  
is Duo.  
  
Now, after carefully reviewing what kind of relationship they would  
have as lovers, I discovered that it wasn't much different than the one  
Alfee-chan and I have now that he's finally admitted he loves me. So two  
insanely hyper fifteen-year-olds and their boyfriends are renting a house  
in upstate New York, and there's nothing you can do about it!  
  
"I still don't see why that onna has to live with us as well."  
Wufei muttered for about the hundredth time that day.  
"Because th' 'onna' happens to be payin half the rent on yer  
house." Beki said, walking by with a box of heavy books in her arms. "And  
if ya touch my computer, Chang, yer katana'll regret it."  
  
Wufei, who had been about to pick the monitor up, snatched his  
hands back and quickly grabbed another box. The crazy onna probably would  
do something to his katana before Duo could stop her.  
  
"Alfee-chan, where d'ya want yer encyclopedias?" Beki shouted,  
blowing long blonde bangs out of her aqua eyes. "Alfee-chan, ye'd better  
answer me!"  
  
"Just wherever!" Alfeegi answered from somewhere inside the two  
story brick house. "Unlike you, I labeled all of my boxes!"  
  
"Shaddup!" Like Duo, Beki was American in origin. Unlike Duo, she  
had a rough, unpolished vocabulary and accent. "An get yer hindquarters  
out here and help us unload th' damn trucks!"  
  
"Hey, Beki, can I take up your gun collection?" Duo asked, trotting  
out the front door as Beki reached it.  
  
"If I find one missin, i's yer ass." She warned with a grin.  
  
"I'll be good and contain my itching fingers, Ma'am, I promise!"  
Duo promised.  
  
"Call me 'ma'am' again an see what happens ta ya, buddy."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
  
It took nearly two hours to catch Beki and calm her down to the  
point where she sincerely promised not to kill Duo.  
  
"What d'ya bakas want fer dinner?" Beki asked, peeking around the  
doorjamb of the kitchen.  
  
"What did you call me?" Wufei demanded, dropping the thick book  
he'd been reading on his foot. "Ye-ouch!"  
  
"Serves ya right, since ya never even asked me if you could read  
tha' thing." Beki said, turning her nose up at the Chinese warrior.  
  
"Why, you little..." Wufei started threateningly, just as Duo  
walked into the living room.  
  
"Duo, tell yer pet not ta steal my books, will ya?" Beki asked,  
disappearing into the kitchen again. "And we're havin beef stew tonight,  
since nobody's makin any sujessions."  
  
"Alright!" Duo yelled, pumping his fist in the air. "I love beef  
stew! And ask before you take, Wu-bebi. What would the others think?"  
  
"That we never should have moved in with this crazy onna." Wufei  
muttered, sinking further into the soft couch cushions.  
  
"Don't think she can't hear you." Alfeegi warned from the chair  
next to the bay windows. "She's got bat-like hearing, and she can kick your  
ass without breaking a sweat."  
  
"Glad t'know ya appreciate my attributes." Beki said, walking in  
with a dishtowel over one shoulder. "Unlike some non-rent-payin-  
moochers..."  
  
"What did you call me, onna?" Wufei demanded, standing and dropping  
the book on his foot again.  
  
"You heard me, Justice Boy!" Beki answered, sticking her tongue  
out. "Or are ya goin deaf as well as brain-dead?"  
  
"Hold it!" Duo screamed before the Chinese boy and blond girl could  
begin tearing the room- and each other- to bits. "You know the rules, you  
two. Absolutely no fighting indoors, and especially not when we're all  
here."  
  
"Saved by yer boyfriend." Beki said, grinning, as the timer in the  
kitchen dinged. "And th' bell. How's it feel, Wu-man?"  
  
Before Wufei could retort, the lithe girl had disappeared.  
  
"That...that..."  
  
"Hey, Weaklin!" Beki called, "Dinner's ready! Come help yer fellow  
woman!"  
  
"Omae o korosu, onna!" Wufei screamed, dashing towards the kitchen.  
  
"Y'll have ta catch me firs'!" Beki retorted, already out the back  
door.  
  
Satanira- Yay! This is fun!  
Wufei- Hn.  
Duo- You speak 'Hn'-ese, too, Wu-bebi? I thought that only Heero and Trowa  
did!  
Wufei- Shut up, Maxwell.  
Duo- Oh, I'm hurt.  
Satanira- Stop it, boys.  
Alfeegi- The things she gets me into...  
Satanira- Ya gotta love me fer it, too!  
Alfeegi- Says who?  
Satanira- Says me. 


End file.
